Praise Your Child in Chinese 讚美和鼓勵你的孩子

"My boys suddenly refuse to speak Chinese with me. They're also reluctant to have Chinese lessons with me..." a friend said to me one day.

So we set off to investigate some possible causes, including a change of learning style as they are growing, the routine is no longer stimulating, etc. However, none of them seemed to be the true reason. Upon my suggestion, she had a tête-à-tête with her sons in an attempt to uncover the true reason. The findings were rather surprising.

"When you speak Chinese to us, you always tell us off," they told her. "You're much friendlier when you speak in English."

My friend realised that with Chinese being her mother tongue, she naturally uses it when she gets angry with her children. She doesn't know how to tell people off in English. On the other hand, she learnt quite many common praises in English: "You did well", "That's a great job", "Excellent", “I love you”....

Does this sound familiar? As a Chinese parent, many of us are probably brought up by parents setting high expectations upon us. Their love for us lies not in praises and sweet talks but in ceaselessly steering us towards improvements. Tiger parents, some may say. In everyday Chinese vocabulary, words of criticism just seem to be in a huge surplus over praises.

If Chinese is not your first language, do you sometimes find yourself inadequate using Chinese to boost your children’s confidence?

Here, we show you a collection of praises and words of encouragement. Please use them liberally whenever you or your children deserve a little dose of praise or a boost in confidence. You can also copy them out on to little notes to surprise and delight your children. As they all fall within the curriculum of Basic Chinese 500 (mostly the first three levels), they will be able to read and understand them, and know that Chinese is just as positive and loving as any other language.

有一天,一位身居海外在家教孩子中文的朋友苦惱地對我說:「不知道為什麼,我兩個兒子最近不肯跟我說中文,也不大願意上中文課。」

於是,我們一起希望找出原因:也許是他們成長到另一個階段了,所以學習模式改變了;也許他們覺得一直以來的學習方法有點沉悶了⋯。可是,這些都不像是真正的原因。後來,我建議她和孩子們坦誠地談一談。結果,真正原因讓我們誰都沒想到⋯ 孩子們說:

「你總是用中文來批評我們。」

「你說英文的時候慈祥多了。」

那位朋友這才意識到,因為中文是她的母語,每次她對孩子生氣,她自然地就會說中文。而和中文相比,英文好像就有很多現成可用的鼓勵話。她覺得,這可能就是文化的差異吧。

從小,我們的父母就對我們充滿了期望。他們對我們的愛,並不流露在言詞讚揚,而是在於孜孜不倦地指出我們的錯處,嚴格地要求我們改正、進步,達至臻美。像英語一般現成的讚美語,比方說 "You did well", "That's a great job", "Excellent", “I love you”....好像不多。你也有同感嗎?

其實不然。中文也有一大堆的讚美語,光就是基礎漢字500課程之內就有不少,以下只是部分的例子。不妨保存起來,下次要鼓勵或讚揚孩子的時候,隨時可以派上用場喔。

基礎漢字500的讚美語

了不起 太好了 很好看 不錯 第一名
成功啦! 太完美了 有成就 你一定行 高明
你是高手 真難得 有自信 有能力 太讓我感動了
我愛你 你讓我眼前一亮 高人一等 太動聽了! 很有天分
你是個天才 謝謝你 你的功勞最大 一流 好極了
你真行 對! 我對你有信心 做 / 寫 / 畫 得真漂亮 非常好

 

Please feel free to download the 1-page praise, post it somewhere eye catching, and use it liberally.

歡迎下載一頁讚美語,張貼在當眼之處,隨時隨地作為讚賞孩子的小提醒。你也可以抄到不同的小紙條上送給孩子,因為這些字都在基礎漢字500課程之內,孩子都能看得懂,體會到你對他的讚賞喔。

 

 

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