"My boys suddenly refuse to speak Chinese with me. They're also reluctant to have Chinese lessons with me..." a friend said to me one day.
So we set off to investigate some possible causes, including a change of learning style as they are growing, the routine is no longer stimulating, etc. However, none of them seemed to be the true reason. Upon my suggestion, she had a tête-à-tête with her sons in an attempt to uncover the true reason. The findings were rather surprising.
"When you speak Chinese to us, you always tell us off," they told her. "You're much friendlier when you speak in English."
My friend realised that with Chinese being her mother tongue, she naturally uses it when she gets angry with her children. She doesn't know how to tell people off in English. On the other hand, she learnt quite many common praises in English: "You did well", "That's a great job", "Excellent", “I love you”....
Does this sound familiar? As a Chinese parent, many of us are probably brought up by parents setting high expectations upon us. Their love for us lies not in praises and sweet talks but in ceaselessly steering us towards improvements. Tiger parents, some may say. In everyday Chinese vocabulary, words of criticism just seem to be in a huge surplus over praises.
If Chinese is not your first language, do you sometimes find yourself inadequate using Chinese to boost your children’s confidence?
Here, we show you a collection of praises and words of encouragement. Please use them liberally whenever you or your children deserve a little dose of praise or a boost in confidence. You can also copy them out on to little notes to surprise and delight your children. As they all fall within the curriculum of Basic Chinese 500 (mostly the first three levels), they will be able to read and understand them, and know that Chinese is just as positive and loving as any other language.
從小，我們的父母就對我們充滿了期望。他們對我們的愛，並不流露在言詞讚揚，而是在於孜孜不倦地指出我們的錯處，嚴格地要求我們改正、進步，達至臻美。像英語一般現成的讚美語，比方說 "You did well", "That's a great job", "Excellent", “I love you”....好像不多。你也有同感嗎？
|你真行||對！||我對你有信心||做 / 寫 / 畫 得真漂亮||非常好|